CUPERTINO, California (TDDR) — During a relatively dull NAC* expo, Pixar announced plans to release a Steve Jobs film in time for the 1 year anniversary of his death. John Lasseter, Chief Creative Officer at Pixar, had this to say:

“Here at Pixar, the memory of Steve Jobs is our most revered, yet our most reviled. Yes, He rescued us from the clutches of George Lucas, with whom we were stuck in the black hole known as the Star Wars franchise. But behind the silver iCurtain, Steve Jobs was not just a tyrant, but a dictator.

One time, he removed the OPTION key from every computer in Pixar Studios and replaced it with a key that had a silhouette of himself on it, to remind us that there was no option – we had to do what he wanted. We can’t prove it, but we believe he often siphoned fuel from our tanks to keep us at work longer as we waited for AAA. He did often smell like gas.

To be honest, we almost sold the film rights to DreamWorks just so we could imagine Steve throwing a tantrum. In the end, the animators persuaded me to go forward with the movie. They really liked the idea of only having to design and animate one set of clothes for him for the entire movie. All of us are excited to air out some dirt laundry; I personally look forward to the trippy scene where Steve is dropping some LSD – prepare to have your mind blown into spherical rainbow shapes.

I don’t want to spoil the movie, but other great scenes to look forward to include the time Steve famously glued together the family jewels of all Foxcon workers so they couldn’t defecate, thus increasing productivity; Steve’s obsession with buying a new car every six months to avoid the burden of license plates; and the time Jobs purchased a thousand Microsoft Zunes and refused to let anyone go home until they smeared the machines with feces and sent them in a return package to Redmond.

Yes, Steve sure was a character.”

Pixar is reportedly pursuing either Morgan Freeman or Sean Connery to be the voice of Jobs. Titles in progress include iPwn and iWon.

*NAC = Nobody Actually Cares